Founded in 1999, Stirring is one of the oldest continuously publishing journals on the internet.
Stirring is an electronic quarterly journal.
SAM BAKER
my grandfather was born into frostbitten
fingertips, steaming from a charred pocket of
magma and glaciers for cutting the cord.
his first steps were slick. he found his rhythm in the
crackling cadence of Lake Michigan’s mercy
and the subtle taunts of Chicago spring.
before he learned to read the hands, time was
the amount of ice on the window sill.
when the walls stopped running, it was dinner,
which meant racing—a fork flipped
up-side-down with his pointer finger stretched along
the handle. wrist-flicked, airborne, and
swallowed whole.
he spent his evenings etching the Charleston
into the living room floor, keeping time to the tap’s
drip that saved the pipes and filled the pots
for boiling baths, unwasted.
he made room for pissing contests:
torpedoing toilet paper as the static names of
lost men read under the door—capsized.
he learned to put off flushing
until brown. he learned to hold his mother the day the banks
closed and she first sold spaghetti door to door,
that crying could heave like laughter and fear would have
to be whistled.
my grandfather was born with his palm threaded to his
shirt pocket, pledging himself to a nation
only national for its suffering.
he wore Chicago thin skin beneath
the two shirts he owned, his tongue balled in his cheek
like a look it, buddy with the moxie of the Tribune.
he learned to tilt his head back with that
south side swagger, flipping coins to the paperboy
and remembering the milkman’s name. he said greetings before
they were rhetorical and knew locals who gave directions
relative to landmarks that had long been replaced.
summers were spent in baseball pants or at church asking
God for a new glove. they were spent in the alley fielding
Sunday hops on the crabgrass, making catches he thought
he’d never get out of the fabric.
his Sundays sit in the picture on my wall, a ball cap so bent
you’d think the sweat would drip sideways.
my grandfather no longer smells the meat scraps down
the drain after dinner. he says the disposal will break
if he ever turns it on.
he still vaguely remembers that dinner with
too many spoons and no spaghetti, the night
he cleaned up before the chambermaid arrived
and he settled for a clip-on bow tie.
he clutches his crooked fingers in palms of
oak. the doctor said if he’d had a chair
his back would never have lasted.
my grandfather takes his blood thinners daily
and bruises at everything he touches. he opens
and closes his fists to those defrosting winters
in the Chicago south when the sun peered out in
everything audible.
I am cracking every joint in the bill of my hat
trying to know what it is
about sitting on the floor
Sam Baker is an author of poetry, fiction, and essays from Louisville, Kentucky. He currently reads for the Adroit Journal and the Kenyon Review. Baker's reads have been published or are forthcoming in The Pinch Literary Journal and elsewhere.