ASHLEY KIM

Long Distance

for A, my sister

In white-people Pittsburgh you walk 
the carpeted floors of Gates Hillman. 
            You make awkward small talk with a professor. Not your forte—
you fixate. You talk about homemade kernels—
                                    the computer type, not popcorn—
         databases, PhD programs, the future. The past is 

unpleasant and it makes you cry. 
Once, you asked me 
why I unearth                       rather than run away. 

The past is a hawk               a rolling stone.                      Do you want to be chased 
                                                                                                  for the rest of your days?

Anyways, I miss you            because my ex-boyfriend (yup, we broke up) 
did not appreciate the neighborhood birds—
                         our geese and chicken pigeons— like you did. 

I laughed with their wing flaps. I loved them. But

life will never be enjoyable             for a man who asks his girlfriend 
to watch dashcam videos                of car accidents                     to desensitize the eyes. 

(That was weird. The worst part is that I actually watched them
                                and cried afterwards.)

He thought our love for birds was childish.                                
Are we children, hermanita?

At the supermarket  I call the sparse broccoli trees       
like a kid.                   Trees 
                                               in grey May skies 
          by your Pittsburgh apartment. The afternoon was thick with regret. 
Mom and I ate juicy burgers and sweet potato fries 
for dinner. Before consumption, 

                    wails into brick and concrete. Before noise,
                                                    a bird girl flew away from her sister— 

Ashley Kim is a Korean-American writer located in California. She is a student at the University of California, Los Angeles, majoring in Cognitive Science and minoring in Asian American Studies. She is one of the managing editors of Pacific Ties Newsmagazine. Her poetry and short stories have appeared or are forthcoming in Spill Stories’ anthology entitled Powerful Asian Moms, Hyphen Magazine, Autofocus, and FEED, among others. Find her on Twitter @ashlogophile. Soli deo gloria!